{"id":14326,"date":"2025-03-11T06:24:03","date_gmt":"2025-03-11T06:24:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/?p=14326"},"modified":"2025-03-25T10:15:05","modified_gmt":"2025-03-25T10:15:05","slug":"the-power-of-its-just-how-two-words-can-simplify-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/the-power-of-its-just-how-two-words-can-simplify-your-life","title":{"rendered":"The Power of \u2018It\u2019s Just\u2019: How Two Words Can Simplify Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"14326\" class=\"elementor elementor-14326\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-651b7c85 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default qodef-parallax-row-no qodef-content-aligment-left qodef-row-grid-no qodef-disabled-bg-image-bellow-no\" data-id=\"651b7c85\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e7ae751\" data-id=\"e7ae751\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-15d4d2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"15d4d2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n<p>We all do it. Overthink. Obsessing. Turn minor setbacks into existential crises. A misplaced word in an email, a missed deadline, an unanswered text-we let these things consume us.<\/p>\n\n<p>But what if a simple phrase could help us take a step back and breathe?<\/p>\n\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s just.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n<p>Two little words that can shift your perspective, lighten your mental load, and help you focus on what really matters.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How \u2018It\u2019s Just\u2019 Changed My Life<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Failing My Driving Test (Again and Again and Again)<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p>For a long time, getting my driving license was one of the hardest things I had ever attempted. I failed not once, not twice, but <strong>four times.<\/strong> Every failure felt like a personal catastrophe. I was convinced it meant something bigger\u2014maybe I was fundamentally incapable, maybe I wasn\u2019t meant to drive, maybe I just sucked at life.<\/p>\n\n<p>Then my mother told me something that changed everything:<\/p>\n\n<p><em>&#8220;It\u2019s just a driving lesson. It\u2019s just one test.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p>She wasn\u2019t dismissing my frustration\u2014she was helping me see reality. This wasn\u2019t a reflection of my intelligence, my worth, or my future success. It was just <strong>one<\/strong> test on <strong>one<\/strong> day, and I could always take another. Eventually, I passed. And now? Nobody asks how many times it took me.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Heartbreak &amp; Perspective<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p>The same mindset helped me when my heart got broken. At first, the pain felt overwhelming\u2014like nothing would ever be the same. But slowly, I learned to remind myself:<\/p>\n\n<p><em>&#8220;It\u2019s just one of many.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p>One relationship doesn\u2019t define my whole life. One heartbreak doesn\u2019t mean love won\u2019t happen again. One moment of sadness doesn\u2019t erase all the joy still ahead.<\/p>\n\n<p><em>&#8220;It\u2019s just&#8221;<\/em> helped me <strong>keep going.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why We Overcomplicate Life<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n<p>Our brains are wired to make everything feel <strong>big<\/strong> and <strong>urgent.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>A critical email feels like a career-defining moment.<\/li>\n\n<li>A negative comment lingers in our minds for hours.<\/li>\n\n<li>One rejection makes us question our entire self-worth.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>Why? <strong>Cognitive biases.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The <strong>spotlight effect<\/strong> makes us think everyone notices our mistakes (they don\u2019t).<\/li>\n\n<li>The <strong>negativity bias<\/strong> makes failures feel bigger than successes.<\/li>\n\n<li>The <strong>illusion of permanence<\/strong> makes us believe today\u2019s struggles will last forever.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>But they won\u2019t. And that\u2019s where <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just\u201d<\/em> can be powerful.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Science and Philosophy Behind \u2018It\u2019s Just\u2019<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Oliver Burkeman\u2019s \u2018Cosmic Insignificance Therapy\u2019<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p>In <em>Four Thousand Weeks<\/em>, Oliver Burkeman introduces the concept of <strong>cosmic insignificance therapy<\/strong>\u2014the idea that realizing our smallness in the universe can actually be liberating.<\/p>\n\n<p>As he puts it:<\/p>\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><em>&#8220;To remember how little you matter, on a cosmic timescale, can feel like putting down a heavy burden that most of us didn\u2019t realize we were carrying in the first place.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n<p>If <strong>nothing we do is permanently etched into history, why waste time obsessing over small mistakes?<\/strong> That awkward email? The presentation that didn\u2019t go well? The rejection letter? In the grand scheme, they are nothing more than blips on the radar. <strong>Why carry the weight of something that, from the cosmic perspective, doesn\u2019t matter?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p>By embracing this truth, we can free ourselves from the paralysing fear of failure and say, <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just an email,\u201d<\/em> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one mistake,\u201d<\/em> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one opportunity.\u201d<\/em> Because in reality, <strong>that\u2019s all it is.<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Stoic Wisdom: We Suffer More in Imagination Than in Reality<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p>The Stoics figured this out thousands of years ago.<\/p>\n\n<p>Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, wrote in <em>Meditations<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><em>\u201cYou have power over your mind\u2014not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n<p>What does that mean? <strong>Most suffering comes not from the event itself, but from the meaning we assign to it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p>Seneca, another Stoic thinker, put it even more bluntly:<\/p>\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><em>\u201cWe suffer more in imagination than in reality.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n<p>Think about it:<\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You send an email and then spend hours worrying about how it was received.<\/li>\n\n<li>You replay an awkward conversation in your head, cringing every time.<\/li>\n\n<li>You anticipate failure before it even happens, making yourself miserable in advance.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>But in reality? <strong>No one else is thinking about it as much as you are.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p>Applying <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just\u201d<\/em> to these situations is a way of putting Stoic wisdom into practice. It\u2019s a reminder that <strong>most things are far less serious than they feel in the moment.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How to Use \u2018It\u2019s Just\u2019 in Daily Life<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n<p>Try applying <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just\u201d<\/em> in these situations:<\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Dealing with setbacks:<\/strong> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one bad meeting, not my whole career.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li><strong>Reducing decision fatigue:<\/strong> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just a T-shirt. No need to overthink.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li><strong>Staying motivated:<\/strong> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one workout. I don\u2019t have to love it, I just have to do it.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li><strong>Breaking down big tasks:<\/strong> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one email. I can send it.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li><strong>Facing rejection:<\/strong> <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one \u2018no.\u2019 There are more opportunities ahead.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>The power of this phrase is that it shrinks problems down to their true size.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>When \u2018It\u2019s Just\u2019 Doesn\u2019t Work<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Hard Limits<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p>There are moments when <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just\u201d<\/em> doesn\u2019t apply.<\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>When my mother passed away, I <strong>could not<\/strong> say <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just a mother.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n<li>When facing deep grief, injustice, or trauma, dismissing feelings isn\u2019t helpful\u2014it\u2019s avoidance.<\/li>\n\n<li>Some pain needs to be fully felt, not reframed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Soft Limits: When \u2018It\u2019s Just\u2019 Becomes an Excuse<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p>Then there are the <strong>times when we use \u2018It\u2019s just\u2019 as self-sabotage.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cIt\u2019s just five minutes of social media\u201d<\/em> \u2192 But 45 minutes later, you\u2019re still scrolling.<\/li>\n\n<li><em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one more episode of Friends\u201d<\/em> \u2192 But suddenly, it\u2019s 2 AM, and tomorrow is ruined.<\/li>\n\n<li><em>\u201cIt\u2019s just one more cookie\u201d<\/em> \u2192 But your goal was to eat more mindfully.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>Here, <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just\u201d<\/em> is a <strong>trap.<\/strong> It makes small indulgences feel harmless\u2014until they add up.<\/p>\n\n<p>The key? <strong>Use \u2018It\u2019s just\u2019 with intention.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\" \/>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Lesson? Know Your Limits, But Don\u2019t Fool Yourself.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n<p>Some things <strong>aren\u2019t<\/strong> small. But many things <strong>are.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p>Life gets easier when we can tell the difference.<\/p>\n\n<p>So, try it today. What\u2019s one thing you can reframe with <em>\u201cIt\u2019s just\u201d<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n<p>\ud83d\udc49 <strong>Want to set better boundaries? Download my free guide: <a href=\"https:\/\/online.erikamagyarosi.com\/course-landing-page-2613-9033\">&#8220;Say No Confidently.&#8221;<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all do it. Overthink. Obsessing. Turn minor setbacks into existential crises. A misplaced word in an email, a missed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14334,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[22,87],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspiration","category-rueckblick"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14326"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14420,"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14326\/revisions\/14420"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14334"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erikamagyarosi.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}